do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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