My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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