I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
