He disabled his match.com account in front of me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize