Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
