If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize