I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sorry about my life...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
