just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
