I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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