Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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