i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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