Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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