Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize