please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
