i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
