Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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