I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
