she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When did angry sex become our thing?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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