with your own penis?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
