Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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