fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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