oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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