my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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