we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
