Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
