I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
a search helicopter?!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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