I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
