Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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