Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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