There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
