Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
