I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
