Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
