i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
