What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
