ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
