I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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