ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
