Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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