I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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