Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
