I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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