Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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