but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
