it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
its not stalking. its research.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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