This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
