Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
