@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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