She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i think i have herpe
just one?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Liz is crying about burritos again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
