my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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