I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize