I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
