They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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