Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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