I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
