Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
