the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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