i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
