just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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