So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
