They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
