Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
