Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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