I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Who died my cat blue again?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
