East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
